Curiosity and Desire
The old woman slowly sits down upon the tree stump. Wrinkled checks lead to a turned up mouth as she smiles at the eager young lady in front of her. The old woman’s wrinkled hand reaches for the ceramic mug on the ground beside the stump and, as if time were of no consequence, she slowly pulls the mug up to her nose. A few more wrinkles appear as her smile grows larger and her eyes close to take in the aroma of the magical ingredients in the cup. Her other wrinkled hand hugs the warm mug and slowly, ever so slowly, the old woman takes a sip of the elixir.
The young woman grows restless and stretches her arms high before she does a yoga-like swan dive to find a lotus seat on the ground. She’s eager to hear her loving guide’s wise words on her current development. “Muma..please…what do you think?”
The old woman slowly lowers the mug to the ground, looks intently upon the young woman and smiles. “Dear child, look behind the conversation. Is there an invitation that you feel when he is with you?”
“Muma…I just feel special when I’m with him. I feel wanted. I love the way he looks at me. I can trust this right?”
Muma, lowering her voice, leaning closer to the child, almost in a whisper…“Dear child, look behind the conversation..is there an invitation that you feel?”
“I’m not sure. What does it feel like to feel invited?”
Muma…leaning back again, taking pause. Nodding her head up and down. Recognizing the beautiful question her loved one was asking. Yes, that’s a good question.
Smiling, and softly inviting a deeper question…“Dear child, look behind the invitation…is there curiosity?”
“Well I feel like he is interested in me. Is that curiosity?”
Muma…pausing. Oh she knew this question well. Having spent many years of her life with this question as the one who both feigned curiosity and lived curiosity.
“Dear child..do you know the difference between curiosity and desire?”
The child looked puzzled, a cover for a deep fear that trigged as she started to engage with this question. She felt scared at what was behind this question for it surely meant a great unraveling.
“No Muma. I don’t think I do.”
Muma, taking a deep breath, lovingly looking at this beautiful woman in front of her. “Are you sure you want me to share this my love?”
The child, sensing her own fear, took a deep breadth. She closed her eyes and saw her always present guiding angel. The angel wrapped her arms around her shoulders, smiled, and nodded. The child opened her eyes, “Yes Muma. I’m ready.”
Muma, took a moment to see the child’s eyes and feel her energy. ‘Was it time to share this,’ she thought to herself. ‘Great spirit, is now the time?’ Warm light surrounded the child and Muma felt no resistance at that question so she proceeded.
“When one desires, there is a needing, almost a desperation. The object of the desire is of lesser consequence than the desire being met and of even lesser consequence than the one that desires.”
Pause. Muma takes a breath.
“When one invites, one opens, one allows. An invitation is creating space for you and me and all who enter. A heart-felt invitation is born out of curiosity. Curiosity, free of desire, is a profound statement of love. Curiosity, free of desire, allows for mutual, reciprocated exchange.”
“Now my dear child, with this…do you know your next question?”
Unable to speak her response, tears streamed down the young woman’s face.
The words that Muma shared pointed to an opening. That opening, helped the child hear her own heart’s song. For so many years, she was the object of desire not the invited. She could feel deeply the difference now.
More tears came at the thought of what she allowed to be a truth for her for so long.
A third wave of tears at the most profound realization…she asked herself…’and how many times did I desire when curiosity would have instead served?’
The old woman sat upon the tree stump, holding space as a witness to the great unraveling.
Explorations of Consciousness from the heart, mind and soul of Andrea Peer.
